It's been said that Stephen Wright pondered these points...

• The early worm gets dead.
• I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
• I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
• If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
• Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
• The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
• When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
• 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
• Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
• Everyone has a photographic memory; however, some don't have film.
• Headline: "Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery."
• I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
• Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
• How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
• Join the Army. Meet interesting people. Kill them.
• Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humour.
• Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
• For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
• OK, so what's the speed of dark?
• Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
• Black holes are where God divided by zero.
• All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
• I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
• I once tried to microwave instant coffee and went back in time.